A Dog’s New Year Resolution

We all make new year resolutions – some are followed or abandoned. Here are some that i have penned down on behalf of the dogs i have met over the years when i trained,pet sat,groomed or played with.

  1.  I will not eat or roll in poop.
  2. I will not kiss my human after drinking from the toilet.
  3. I will not eat my own vomit.
  4. I will not raid the dustbin.
  5. I will not steal my humans underwear and use it to welcome visitors at home.
  6. I will not beg during meal times & behave like i am starved.
  7. I will not poop on the groomer/vet’s table.
  8. I will not make it my life’s mission to go vomit on furntiture.
  9. I will not wipe my muzzle on the sofa after every meal.
  10. I will not greet every visitor by humping their leg.
  11. I will not play tug-of-war with my humans clothes when they are getting ready for work.
  12. I will not chew the T.V remote/mobile/laptop.
  13. I will not behave like it is the end of the world when my human is using a hair dryer/vaccum cleaner.
  14. I will not sniff at my humans crotch.
  15. I will not fart when i am asleep with my human in bed.
  16. I will not get dirty after taking a bath… just kidding.
  17. I will not eat cat litter.
  18. I will not bark for no reason.
  19. I will not roll my toys under the couch.
  20. I will not chew on my humans shoes.

We would love to hear what other new year resolutions our readers would like to add to this list on behalf of their dogs in the comment section below!

38 thoughts on “A Dog’s New Year Resolution

  1. I will not sit on the furniture.
    I will try to share the bed with my mom and dad rather than taking up the whole thing.
    I will not bark continually at the shovel, the leaf blower, the vacuum, the lawn mower, the 4 wheeler, etc…
    I will not beg for pizza

  2. Oh my gosh that’s a lot of resolutions to make!
    Let’s see what mine are…
    I will not steal the humans socks from the clean laundry basket
    I will not steal the cats catnip mouse
    I will not steal kleenex from the garbage can
    Who am I kidding BOL!!

    Happy New Year!

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