We all make new year resolutions – some are followed or abandoned. Here are some that i have penned down on behalf of the dogs i have met over the years when i trained,pet sat,groomed or played with.
- I will not eat or roll in poop.
- I will not kiss my human after drinking from the toilet.
- I will not eat my own vomit.
- I will not raid the dustbin.
- I will not steal my humans underwear and use it to welcome visitors at home.
- I will not beg during meal times & behave like i am starved.
- I will not poop on the groomer/vet’s table.
- I will not make it my life’s mission to go vomit on furntiture.
- I will not wipe my muzzle on the sofa after every meal.
- I will not greet every visitor by humping their leg.
- I will not play tug-of-war with my humans clothes when they are getting ready for work.
- I will not chew the T.V remote/mobile/laptop.
- I will not behave like it is the end of the world when my human is using a hair dryer/vaccum cleaner.
- I will not sniff at my humans crotch.
- I will not fart when i am asleep with my human in bed.
- I will not get dirty after taking a bath… just kidding.
- I will not eat cat litter.
- I will not bark for no reason.
- I will not roll my toys under the couch.
- I will not chew on my humans shoes.
We would love to hear what other new year resolutions our readers would like to add to this list on behalf of their dogs in the comment section below!
Some of these had me in fits of giggles.
I can just imagine a pup raising a paw to solemnly swear to these resolutions !!!!
I am glad that we made you laugh 🙂
I will not sit on the furniture.
I will try to share the bed with my mom and dad rather than taking up the whole thing.
I will not bark continually at the shovel, the leaf blower, the vacuum, the lawn mower, the 4 wheeler, etc…
I will not beg for pizza
Loved your second resolution about sharing. they somehow always tend to hog up the entire bed without sharing
Oh my gosh that’s a lot of resolutions to make!
Let’s see what mine are…
I will not steal the humans socks from the clean laundry basket
I will not steal the cats catnip mouse
I will not steal kleenex from the garbage can
Who am I kidding BOL!!
Happy New Year!
The catnip mouse now that is a new one
Oh my, that looks more like my dog’s TO-DO list, LOL!
These new year resolutions are applicable to all dogs
These just made us laugh yesterday when we saw your graphic – absolutely love these! We’ll add: Will not bark at my dad when he’s eating a banana!
Does Mattie love bananas?
BOL!!! These are perfect! I’ll have to chat with my dogs about a few of these….!
Love & biscuits,
Dogs Luv Us and We Luv Them
Do talk to them
This had me in laughing! Can I just forward this to Kilo…he is guilty of all of the above too.
Good luck in 2017!
Kilo will you keep these resolutions?
ROFL thanks for the laugh and they are such good resolutions HA HA HA
We are glad we made you laugh
Haha! I laughed so hard at these! I can relate to so many! Yikes! The underwear one is especially familiar! LOL
lol
OMG thank you so much for the belly laugh!
ROFL 🙂
I think a lot of these are going to be hard to keep
True
Three resolutions from Echo and Gracie:
I will not rip up any dog beds or new toys
I will not chase the neighbors cat
I will not try to eat sticks in the yard
Tough one that second one 🙂
I wish Theo would make (and keep) a resolution to stop trying to get into people food!
Tell me about it Pinocchio broke this resolution on the very first day!!
Mr. N resolves to gain some weight. He could use a few ounces.
Happy munching, we would love to trade places wth you Mr N. I need to lose a whole load of kilo’s
Lol…just so wow… Cutest post Malaika nice to start New Years with a lighter note… ☺️☺️
Thank you Alisha, i am happy that this tickled you
BOL. I loved reading these resolutions and have suggested a few each for my crew!
#1 for Henry
#18 for Jack
#19 for Reese
ROFL, the packs secrets are out in the open
LOL too funny! Some of these would definitely fit for Simba.
Do you want to pen down some of Simbas?
Ahahahaaaaaa…… O M G’s so funny!
🙂
These seem difficult to live up to! I’d be happy if my dogs can go a year without squabbling over food or toys. Less rolling in nasty stuff would be nice!
Lol, they are already being broken as i type this